I’m “maxed out”: “We need a ‘safety word’ for saying no—an easy way to tell people that we can’t/won’t do the thing they are requesting, but that it’s not personal. From the GGSC to your bookshelf: 30 science-backed tools for well-being. So, what should one do in these situations? So once we decline an invitation, we need to make an effort to focus on the good that will come from saying no, not the regret or guilt we feel about turning down an offer. I could say no and not feel bad about saying it. I'm honoured but I can't.. Ways to Say “No” When it’s Not Interesting to You or Not a Good Match for You. Unfortunately, no, because…. Knowing when to tell a customer no is just as important as knowing why you’re doing it. Network Corporation in Canada and other countries. Can you tell me why you want it? Saying no to a customer has the potential to do long-term damage, and as a result you must do extra work to make sure that you can retain them. William Ury, in his book The Power of a Positive No, breaks down the process for us: Express your yes. She is the author of. 5-minute favor: “I can’t speak at your event, but I will help you promote it on my blog.”. When I take on everything that comes my way, I find that I start staying up late in order to get everything done. The downloadable contains scripts for all kinds of scenarios, ranging from greetings to collecting personal information, and can help your live chat team deliver more efficient, quality support immediately. Sometimes it’s better to treat our little ones in a grown up way. Stay calm, and allow them to pass through each phase. Assert your no. 1 Cushion it with kindness or a compliment. Henry Ford famously insisted, “Any customer can have a car painted any color that he wants so long as it is black.”. (Photo by Tim Gouw on Unsplash) It's never fun to tell someone no, even when you know it's best. How to say 'No' politely. Here are some that are in my email right now: Can you meet me for coffee to help me with my book proposal? Do this calmly without raising your voice, otherwise they’ll get very nervous. Instead, you should remain personal and look for a positive way to say no. Are you coming to our housewarming party? Whatever the case may be, focus on the positive outcome of your effort to give good no. 99 Ways to Say No. Give Dad a chance: “You know, I feel like moms are always getting to do the holiday parties at school. Try adding a reason, however trivial. (Denial), If I don’t get X, how can I face my boss tomorrow? Let me hook you up: “I can’t do it, but I’ll bet Shelly can. This makes it much easier to give good no. you know that fulfilling their demands could run your business into the ground. Plain and simple. While you can’t always avoid saying no, what you can do is build the best Positive No ever. I can't wait to use it.) Not No, But Not Yes: “Let me think about it, and I’ll get back to you.”, (Renee’s list is from her book The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal.). Here are 10 ways for you to say 'NO' in a polite manner: 1. It’s not personal: “Thank you for asking, but I’m not doing any interviews while I’m writing my book.”, 3. To Your Boss Stephanie Hogan, a home daycare provider and former parent educator, uses this approach a lot: “We walk in the house.” “We sit on chairs.” “Use two hands to carry your plate.” With this in mind, in this article we’ll look at how to say no in a positive way. Copyright © 2021 Comm100 Network Corporation. Plenty of research suggests that when we make a decision in a way that allows us to change our minds later, we tend to be a lot less happy with the decisions that we make. Squirrel! Don’t forget to share. While you want to help them to the best of your ability, you have to say no to them because (A.) I mostly use Renee’s “I’m already booked” strategy (see below), because that is most often the reason I can’t do something. Greater Good Vague but effective: “Thank you for asking, but that isn’t going to work out for me.”, 2. Kevin Gao is the founder and CEO of Comm100. With this kind of thinking, everyone gets a bigger slice. Saying no can be a difficult thing to do. Try to be calm, sincere and polite, and you will surely keep the entire situation under control. CCPA | Explain why you’re denying their request, share your reasoning with them. No problem → Definitely! In the situation illustrated below, the body wants to say both yes and no, but the positive feelings of saying no outweigh the sensations of saying yes, so the best answer would be no… (Bargaining). If people do say no, they usually do it in ineffective ways … Sometimes, the best way to say NO is to just keep it simple. Because that is what all this saying no is really about: Allowing ourselves to really enjoy what we are doing in the moment, whatever that might be. "Let me think about it." Get our monthly customer service news and best practices update delivered to your inbox. Customers may go through a range of emotions when faced with a denied request. Company win: Retain customer, boosts satisfaction rates. I Know Someone Else: “I just don’t have time right now. It is tricky but it can avoid you a tonne of anxiety. (Anxiety), You are absolutely the worst company I have ever worked with. Speak to them before making decisions. While this chart is used to explain the stages of acceptance for catastrophic life events, a no can lead to a loss in the receiver’s mind, and as a result may cause a similar range of emotions. And here are the additional ways that Katrina most often says no: 19. Your no is what you simply … Instead of convincing your customer her slice is large enough, why not focus on making the pie bigger? In order to build a meaningful relationship, focus on providing continued support. All Rights Reserved. How to say no to your child in a positive way – 10 things you can say instead 1. Finally, if I’m available to do something, I don’t say yes before asking myself a very important question: Do I want to do this thing, or is it that I feel I “should”? The following steps will help you navigate the messy dilemma of denying a customer’s request. Christine Carter, Ph.D. is a Senior Fellow at the Greater Good Science Center. On one hand, you can’t promise something you can’t deliver, but on the other, the word “no” can feel harsh. When you use this four-step process to focus on the relationship and on solutions (rather than problems), you can say no in a way that leaves everyone feeling positive. It’s not a good idea for me. Have you heard of alternative positioning? If you run a small business and are frequently approached by customers asking for discounts, you can stand strong in your no by remembering that at the end of the day you need to make a profit. As much as I’d like to do all of these things, I can’t. It feels rude to ignore a request, but sometimes it’s the best way for everyone to save face.”, 20. My Family is the Reason: “Thanks so much for the invite, that’s the day of my son’s soccer game, and I never miss those.”, 15. So how do you say no, no, no all the time without being (or feeling like) a jerk? Tricks to say no positively. So if someone asks me about a third evening one week, I have the structure I need to tell them I’m not available (but thank you for asking!). Gracious: “I really appreciate you asking me, but my time is already committed.”, 12. Try me last minute: “I can’t put anything else on my calendar this month, but I’d love to do that with you sometime. In Action • I believe I wouldn’t fit the bill, sorry. Let me recommend someone who may be able to help you.”, 16. Science Center • One convenient thing about authoring a book called Maxed Out is that now I can say ‘I’m maxed out’ and people who are familiar with the book know I’m asking them to respect that I’m taking care of myself, and that I also respect their need to take care of themselves.”.